When my last single friend got engaged, the one who accompanied me on these speed dating nights and padlock parties, I felt a little lost. I was so happy for her, and all my friends who'd found their perfect guy, but I felt sad, a little alone and confused as to why I hadn't found anyone yet. Around the time of my last blog, the end of 2010, I was given an opportunity to move to Singapore for work - I took it with open arms and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. No, it wasn't because that's where I found my prince charming, far from it! I dated a little in Singapore, went to one singles event, but otherwise I really just enjoyed living life as an expat on this tiny little island, making some amazing friends and having some incredible adventures. I matured, I grew more confident, I began to figure out who I was. And then I moved to Los Angeles - the land where dreams really do come true. And that's where I met him.
I moved to Los Angeles, knowing just one friend. My days were spent at work, my evenings at home, too scared to leave the apartment because unlike Singapore, Los Angeles is not the safest place in the world, especially Downtown LA. So I took to online dating. In my opinion, online dating used to be this scary, daunting, "only for desperate people" thing, but once smartphones became the norm and life was lived on apps, the likes of OkCupid, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, and so many others became the new way to meet people. If you're single, reading this, and not on a dating app, get on one now! We "matched' a few months into my move. He was my third date in this crazy city. We met for coffee in Silver Lake, went to the Museum of Contemporary Art in Downtown LA, dined in Chipotle, one of America's finest Mexicans (think "fancy" Taco Bell), and had a few drinks at Cliff's Edge, back in Silver Lake. For 12 hours, we talked, laughed, ate, drank and shared so many stories. The next day, I text him first, telling him that I had a really good day/night. He text me back immediately after and I knew I had found a good one. We got engaged just a month short of our two year anniversary and got married nine months later. It took me seven years to find him and I can stand by the saying that good things come to those who wait. He is one of the kindest, sweetest, sexiest and smartest guys I've met and I couldn't imagine going through the rest of life's journey with anyone else.
I often get asked how I knew he was the one, and in all honesty, I asked myself that during the early days as well. I wasn't sure how to answer the question and I didn't think the "I just knew" line was very helpful to people looking for advice. I know it wasn't for me! So I thought about it a little more, and want to say that I knew early on when I realised there was no playing games - he called when he said he would, we didn't count how many hours it'd been since we text or who text first/last, and we were honest with each other. He thought my weirdness was cute and my sarcasm didn't phase him - he's even more sarcastic than me! We were both traveling quite a bit during our first few months of dating but we each made the effort to keep in touch. And I missed him when I wasn't with him! He spent time with my friends and family and wanted me to spend time with his. Perhaps most importantly, we wanted the same things in life and worked together to make big decisions. Being with him was so easy and comfortable and normal. As a frequent singleton, I thought getting into a serious relationship would be difficult, but it wasn't - it just worked, it felt right, there was no drama and it felt like I'd known him forever.
It's been just over a year since we've been married and my love grows stronger every day. Each day, I learn something new about him - the way he thinks, the way he acts, or works, or drives, or cooks or cleans. I still think he's really cute, and smart and handsome, and tell him that most days. We say please and thank you and tell each other how much we appreciate each other. Being in a relationship takes time, effort and patience. But so does being single.
So for all those single girls out there, be brave, be happy, be resilient and be you. Don't change for anyone, cherish the time you have to focus on you, be independent, and explore the fun and frolics that single life can bring. And while I don't mean to quote Bridget Jones, I will say, find someone who loves you just the way you are. Good luck and I hope my story has given you some hope, encouragement or at the very least, some smiles.
Thanks for reading my Trials of a Singleton!